Rear view 2019 – 2010

I remember starting this soon-to-end decade positively. It was a roller coaster of a decade. First decade of responsible adult living unleashed!

I had just gotten married in the summer of 2009 after spending a couple of years trying to convince my parents about my choice, who was from a different religious background. The night of the wedding, I remember feeling very light, that there were no other battles to be fought, that my life was all set. I felt happy despite other happenings. I was happy to not have to think about “getting married” anymore. A huge milestone crossed.

We started 2010 outside our home country and largely spent the year trying to get under the same roof, which happened during the 2nd half. We brought one set of parents to show around the country. Together we set up a temporary base in a beautiful, world-famous city, which we love for its glorious, dramatic sunrises and sunsets.

2011 was spent in onsite-offshore calls, trying to get used to a new business domain and building credibility with my new clients. We brought in another set of parents (this time, mine) from home. Mine had apprehensions on how to live under the same roof with a son-in-law from a different religion. Within a few days of arrival, they felt at ease. We all had a great time. I was proud and grateful to have been able to show my parents around this wonderful country. We traveled the length and breadth of this country. After our parents returned, we were soon to follow suit to go back Home. A major twist came up here when the Mister was offered a very nice role in a firm that he wanted to gain experience from and told me he wanted to do this for a few years. In hindsight, we needed to have put a number on that “few“, because it continues till date! Anyway, we agreed to stay back. Our first attempt at buying a home fell through horribly and we spent Thanksgiving 2011 without a place to stay and ended up living in a motel for a few weeks.

2012 came with the gift of a new home, we chose and built from scratch. It was a beautiful home, in a lovely setting, with amazing views of the mountains. I quit my first job of almost 9 yrs and visited India on an extended vacation. I was able to spend good time with my niece and nephew only this time since they were born. Our plans to have a memorable Diwali turned out a bit scary because my father had a rather serious accident and broke his jaw. Yet we did celebrate Diwali – not as happy as we would have liked but we did.

2013 stands out for many memorable things. Spring of 2013 I joined a new job, as an entry level developer (even though I had 9 yrs of experience!). I looked for a light job and hence my decision – never one to be career-minded. We went on a trip to Hawaii, the last of a long vacation as just the two of us! I got pregnant during the summer, due for Spring 2014. The Mister took very good care of me, cooked me different nutritious meals, drove me to a near by city where we get exceptional Indian food. I was looking forward to having my parents over.

Parents arrived early 2014 to pamper me while I had a baby inside. It felt special. I still remember the comment my mother made as soon as she saw me at the airport. We had a good valaikappu (South Indian baby shower). Little A was born 8 days before due date. I had worked until the day prior. I was prepared very little for what life was throw at me. I had difficulty breast feeding, and had to rely on formula. It was heart-breaking on so many levels. I put on lots of weight post-partum, weighing my heaviest ever at 170 lbs about 3 months post-partum. My endrocrinologist was shocked when I showed up for my appointment by myself – he said he expected a person with the numbers I had, to be in a state of coma. Long story short: my thyroid was acting up a lot after delivery, adversely impacting the energy and mood of a new mother, as if other things were not enough. Parents went, the other set arrived.

2015 is a blur. What stands out is celebrating A’s first birthday in India, with family and friends. This was not as smooth as expected. Little A fell sick and we were not sure until 2 hours before the event if A would be there. In the end, we were happy to have been in India with A. It was joyous to see A’s cousins adore and play with her. My heart was so full of joy. Life is defined by such priceless moments where time freezes and your whole being captures the vignettes of these moments to be saved in the mind’s own photo book and relished several times later. I started a new job end of 2015.

I spent most of 2016 getting used to the new role, doing a lot of late-night/ early morning calls for work, supporting a critical application. When I was on these calls, the Mister would be too, because of his team. I remember very little about anything related to A. Thyroid struggles, demanding work and a blurred family life sums up 2016.

We moved homes in 2017, driven by want rather than by need. Home with a pool. Bigger than the first one. I still battled thyroid issues. Through the year we argued about returning HOME and when, if ever. We argued about the politics and economics vs family. I think we have made clear each other’s priorities and views. Clearer than ever. Little A started at a Montessori school – this did not go well.

2018 dawned with the Mister planning on his MBA. I was completely on-board even if it may be very hard on the whole family. I wanted him to get this because it was one of the things he had wanted to do, from the day I have known him. In fact, he had everything lined up for it but then we decided to get married. So MBA plans fell through and I was determined to not let it slip this time, to be as supportive as I could be towards his dream. He got into a reputed college and the schedule was getting brutal and more brutal by the term. I was learning to manage a child, a home and my own work mostly by myself. Credits also parents who helped for 6 months each year. I was amazed at how strong I was – despite my minor ailments – physically and mentally to be able to do as much as I could. The fact that I could get by just by myself was both a happy and sad realization. I looked forward to the end of the year as I was headed to homeland to celebrate a glorious milestone in the family. A and I enjoyed every bit of the time we spent there. First time since being married we celebrated Christmas at Home. The momentous milestone happened merrily, flanked by friends and family.

What do I say about 2019! MBA continued, the Mister labored very hard. I was so proud to see him put all his heart, soul and energy into it while doing great at work too. I was only too happy to support him by running everything else. Little A turned 5. We completed 10 years of being married. We were all eagerly looking forward to December when MBA would end and we could get back to our normal. However, life had other good plans. The Mister got another job at a another city, so he had to move during Fall. It set off our own move plans in (slow) motion, and A is still trying to process the situation. Her school teachers are a great support system. As the year ends, MBA is finally over, YAY! We are set to move to a new city in the next year.

If there was one word to describe this past decade, I would choose the word “strength”. I have come to realize how strong I am – mentally, emotionally and physically. My belief in myself has increased gradually, and I am at peace with who I am. I am still trying to accept things that did not go as planned this past decade.

For the next decade, I would like to focus on my dream: have faith in it, plan for it and yet be prepared for curve balls life may throw at me. I also want to be fit. Fit and Focus. My mantra for the next 10!